If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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