I've blown a few things in my day
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
