return my video game
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Man, jail baloney is awful.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
