I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
