Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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