I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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