i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
