so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
