jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
