Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
did i walk over a car last night?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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