Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
