i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
