Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
