Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
