birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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