return my video game
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
