I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
