Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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