"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
