idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
