I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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