Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
