She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
we're making bets on your personal life
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
