I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
