3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
