What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
