he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
