if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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