i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
