Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize