You really coming over, don't trick.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
that is very illegal...i love you.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
