So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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