Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
