When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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