I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
