singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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