I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
