sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
