If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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