Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
