so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
