Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
