y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
