If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
