4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
