porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
