you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
