marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
