Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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