not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
