There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
