If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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