so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
